Teenager In Scary Jacket Holds Community Hostage

Morgan Peasely in his mystical jacket.

Woodland – Several members of the community have been on edge ever since Morgan Peasely, 17, came into the possession of a black canvas trench coat nearly a month ago. Since then, they say, the once shy teenager’s behavior has grown extremely erratic.

“So, I’m coming home from Piggly Wiggly when I spot this sinister looking sunuvabitch sauntering down the middle of the street with this deadpan look in his eyes,” said Glen Kensley, street grump and head of the neighborhood watch group The Woodland Wolves. “I mean here’s this guy looking like a villain straight out of the pages of a Hardy Boys novel, so obviously my first reaction is to run him over.”

It wasn’t until after the boy had battle rolled out of harms way and bound up a tree with a supernatural like agility that Kensley realized that it was Little Morg from down the street. Although somewhat relieved he didn’t kill anyone, Glen admits to never caring much for the boy in the first place.

According to school Phy Ed teacher, Mr. Link, the boy’s abnormal activities while draped in the menacing cloak have spilled into the educational sector as well.

“He refuses to change into his gym clothes or participate in anything other than dodge ball. Even then he’s unruly, often tagging out members of his own team and refusing to leave the game after he’s been deemed out,” said the former 1986 regional wrestling champion turned out-of-shape instructor.

After receiving multiple calls from frightened citizens the city council has agreed to vote on a measure that would ban anyone under the age of 50 from wearing a trench coat in the downtown vicinity, with the exception of public and/or private detectives.

The boy’s parents on the other hand feel that the community is blowing what is simply a “normal phase of self-discovery” out of proportion.  As for the boy’s friends, it remains unclear as to whether or not they actually care at all.

“Morgs is gonna do what Morgs is gonna do. Sure it sucks that he would rather hang out on rooftops and dangle from fire escapes instead of cruising Canal with us, but whatever – it’s his life.” said Mike Evans, supposed friend and self-proclaimed leader of the “Prick Pack”. The Pricks are well known for their efforts to gain press without actually having any relation to the stories being reported on.

Morgan’s real friends however tell a different story saying there have indeed been talks of staging an intervention. Unfortunately, most admit that they remain too spooked to approach him out of fear he may be concealing a sword or book of spells in the jacket.

As for Peasely, he continues to refuse requests for comment, instead choosing to try and hypnotize reporters with his eyes. Unsuccessfully.


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